“A quick pounce and kill
requires no dream. Dreams are the beacons that carry us far ahead into the
hunt, into the future, and into the marathon. We have the unique ability to
keep in mind what is not before the eye. Visualizing far ahead, we see our quarry,
even as it recedes over the hills and into the mists. Those ancient hunters who
had the longest vision—the most imagination—were the ones who persisted the
longest on the trail and therefore were the ones who left more descendants. The
same goes these days: Human beings with the longest vision tend to make the
biggest mark. Vision allows us to reach into the future, whether it's to kill a
mammoth or an antelope, to write a book, or to achieve the record time in a
race.” Bernd Heinrich,
Racing the Antelope (Why We Run) or Endurance Predator.
Quick Thoughts on
the Big Day:
15 years on either side of 2000. I like that symmetry.
The world is changing fast and will keep changing faster
every year. Facebook came out my
freshman year of college. Computers are
not cool anymore. But smart Phones in
every pocket – and I mean every pocket – Particularly in Asia, where small
hands hold jumbo screens. I can only
imagine what the next 10 years will look like.
Virtual Reality? And let alone 50 years from now. Robots - AI? Robots that make other robots
using 3D printers and take over the world?
A
million humans on Mars? Mining
Asteroids/Moon? (Which I almost did as my senior thesis (2008) but the funding
did not come through from the National Science Foundation. Now private companies (Space X) are making it
happen.)
I am alive in the best time in human history? Yes.
I won the life lottery?
Yes you did. You’ve travelled
enough to realize that. You have been
surrounded by good people at every stage of life without doing anything to
deserve it. Your job options and choices
are spectacular. The hardest part is
deciding what to do and feeling like you are wasting an opportunity. Just remember that the worst that can happen
is you live in your car down by the river nibbling on a 1 kilo bag of oats you
purchased for 99 cents.
Kamchatka. My current
wanderlust obsession takes me to far eastern Russia and/or Siberia because I
was listened to
Travels
in Siberia. Or one of the obscure ‘stan
countries like Tajikistan. Or maybe I
can do an epic trip through Kyrgystan like Kyle did in
The Road from Karakol . Basically, I’m interested in an off the
beaten path wilderness experience – Maybe I’ll just walk across
Tasmania.
I would give my 20 year old self two pieces of advice: Read 50 books per year and Avoid sitting down.
Along with that, I would have studied abroad to become proficient
in another language/culture earlier in the game, not made running the focal
point, taken a summer to walk the Appalachian trail, maybe not even gone to
college or at least got in so much debt to go to college, got a second major or
at least minor in something outside the realm of math/science/engineering like
geography, taken those random courses I wanted to take like brewing science and
wildland fire fighting but was too lazy, talked to more pretty girls during
college because they were numerous especially as a track and field athlete and
without potential “baggage” that older ones typically have, avoided processed
foods, made more bad decisions or not been frozen by fear and thus took no
action: meaning its better to do something and regret it than to not do it and
regret it later – better to try than not try at all, done more volunteer work,
not downloaded facebook or any social media, started a website or blogged more
regularly in the longform, tried 3 different jobs in 3 completely different
industries by the time I turned 30, dumped more money into the stock market
when I started earning a yearly salary, kept a really detailed journal during my
college years particularly to capture the obscurities of training on a Division
1 cross country and track team, worked for a smaller company rather than a big,
public corporation…But ultimately nothing really matters except family and
friends, so I wish I would have focused on that more rather than chase
arbitrary athletic goals or pointless wander lusting.
Another Thought – On Enjoying the Process
I have also
looked at the last 3 years of posts I have done on my birthday: 27, 28, and 29. I was injured a lot and seemed
to be in an erratic state of mind. That
trend has continued this past year but I feel more OK with it than ever. It’s the journey of a runner.
My goal for
2015 was to run a 100 mile footrace around Mount Fuji two days before I turned
30. See write up about it in 29 post written September 2014:
“100 miles. I set a goal after running the Old Pueblo 50
miler in 2010 to run 100 mile race before age 30. I figured it would be a
relatively easy goal given how well I was training at the time. That was
before my downfall of injuries starting with a femoral stress fracture in
October of that same year. I just ran my second ultramarathon 4 years
later in August (2014) at Mount Rinjani. I now have less than
11 months to do it…”
It was a 5
year-ish goal that I thought was really attainable at the time. I was in the best shape in my life in 2010 but
I didn’t foresee the upcoming injury rollercoaster ahead. 2015 would follow the same injury plagued script.
I failed to
run 100 miles. I didn’t even make it to
Japan in September. Instead, I spent
that week gallivanting around Australia’s Coral Coast on a solo road trip
contemplating where I’d gone wrong. I
wandered around sleeping in my car, peeping at wildflowers, paddling down
canyons, and even getting my passport stamped at “The Principality of Hutt
River Province”. Despite all this fun
stuff, I was sour the entire time about not reaching my goal. I was so confident earlier in the year before
the wheels fell off. Here is how it went down:
Feb/Mar – Great, building up nicely after a hiking
centric January.
April- Good (running 140 km/week) by mid April, ran
and won Mount Tambora Race in remote northern Sumbawa, then got heat sickness after race and lost
another 8 pounds travelling that week through Indonesia.
May – Back in Australia and returned to normal
weight and strength, then plantar fasciitis kicked in on right foot, 6 weeks of
rehabbing and xtraining.
June – 95% recovered from Plantar then banged knee on
rock while hiking the Hinchinbrook trail in Queensland. I could not walk normally for 5 days. No running for two weeks.
July- Good, gaining momentum and did some epic
hikes/runs in the Stirling Range
August – Plantar came back in right foot moderately but
ran through it anyway. Overcompensation
led to odd twinge in left lower shin.
Saw physio and suspected stress reaction . I ran every other day trying to work through
it, jogged half marathon at City 2 Surf in Perth, then took two weeks
completely off.
September – Pain still there after two weeks off running. Finally
pulled the plug on Fuji after pain did not subside.
That has
been the story of my running life the last 5 years. I still haven’t cracked the code as to why my
training and health has suffered so much.
There are four or so areas to investigate: Mechanical, Diet, Hormonal, and
Mental.
Much of my rehab
has been more mechanically focused. It’s
logical to me that if you have weak muscles or imbalances, you have to fix them
via strength training. I can understand
that part of the equation.
Diet is
another aspect I can somewhat grasp although with so many opinions out there
it’s hard to say which is the best approach.
What every diet agrees on though is to not eat processed foods. If I do that, I’m 85% of the way there.
Unlike
machines, humans have other intangibles besides the moving parts. The hormonal and mental aspects are more
unclear and harder to diagnose. The body
can only handle so much stress. Stress
from the physical exertion, from work, life circumstances, from lifestyle
choices…etc Too much stress overtime leads to adrenal fatigue or jacked up
hormones. The same can lead to mental
breakdown. Are you happy? Do you have purpose in your life? When your personal life isn’t going well,
your running will suffer too.
I suspect
my break down is in that hormonal/mental zone although I don’t know for
sure. Maybe I am just getting old? The entire thing is a complex issue. It’s hard to figure out.
What I do
know is that I love the process. I have
never been one who chased the quick high or the easy road. Maybe that’s why I make some things harder just
for the sake of making them hard - like living out of my car for years. The truth is everything I have enjoyed in
life took a lot of work whether that be running fast marathons, hiking the John
Muir Trail, or getting an engineering degree.
Be in love with the process.
Chase the process, not the outcome.
Milestones
have come and gone during my 20s: Graduate College, Get First Job, pay
off student Loans, build emergency cash fund in case you quit/lose your job,
have an adventurous overseas work assignment.
None of these destinations ever solved all my life’s problems. Now what?
If I buy that house, maybe I can finally have a normal routine and
settle down? If I run 100 mile race,
maybe I will finally fill that void of adventure inside me? If I get married and have kids, maybe I
won’t be lonely ever again and maybe they would help me make important life
decisions. I used to feel this way that
accomplishing crucial goals would suddenly make life better. They are merely notable check points in the
game of life. If you are waiting for a
solution to your problems, if you are waiting for that one moment, it will
never come. Most people realize this by
the time they are 30. You never arrive
so stop thinking you will arrive at some magical end point.
Enjoy the days, enjoy the process.
I often have doubts on whether or not the work I do is
changing the world or noble. The reality
is that if you are alive you change the world.
Your attitude affects everyone around you. You can build them up or bring them
down. You can build yourself up or bring
yourself down. Stop trying to arrive at
some magical end point.
Memorable Content Consumed in the Last Year:
There is a lot of good content on the web. Part of me feels this is a huge distraction.
It is hard to focus when two clicks takes you to stuff a lot more interesting
than your daily life (see Malaysian/Indonesia airline security workers). Add in that need to keep up with Facebook and
Instagram feeds then you’re done. It is
impossible to keep up with everything and I am starting to wonder if it is even
worth keeping up at all.
On the other hand, these tools are really incredible. And imagination, the thing that separates us
from other creatures, is sometimes captured.
Here are some off memory that inspired me or in some way made me think
about how to live my life:
ARTICLES:
Pete
Sampras Letter to My Younger Self.
The introspective tennis star reflects back on the mistakes he
made. I grew up watching the
Sampras-Agassi rivalry and this sheds new perspective about the mind of this
tennis star. Sports like tennis or
boxing where you go one on one with the competition intrigue me.
When
I'm Gone. Ok, so I just
found out this was fiction but still a great concept. Father writes letters to son to open after he
dies. It’s funny and a sad and
heart-warming.
10
Years Later: Finding Kenny Cormier (letsrun.com). What a crazy
ride this guy has had. He won Footlocker
National Cross Country Champs the same year I graduated High School. Now his is some kind of mercenary. It’s always interesting to compare the potential
path my life could have taken with people my own age, 10 years later.
Remembering
Johanna Nilsson. Another interesting
free spirited runner but with a sad ending to her life. Almost a Christopher McCandless like
story. She was nearly my age and from
Northern Arizona so I feel like I have connection. I just remembered the article when I went to
look up the one above.
The
Busy Trap (Tim Kreider, NY Times). It always makes
me laugh when people say how busy they are running around doing stuff just to
do it without any real end goal. In any
case, it is a gentle reminder to step back and to prioritize things that
matter. Before you say you are busy,
think about it.
How
and Why SpaceX Will Colonize Mait but Why). Making a
backup copy of the human race. That’s
what Elon Musk is trying to do. It’s a
crazy thought and the fact that he has the audacity to think he can do it is worth
applauding. Note to readers: Mars is 39 Million Miles away from
earth. Fascinating read if you want to
geek out a little bit on space exploration, its future and history, and the
passionate work culture of those geniuses at SpaceX. I actually listened to audio version which
made it easier to digest. Listen here.
VIDEOS:
The Thousand Year
Journey: Oregon to Patagonia. A guy
named Jedidiah Jenkins (great name) quit his job and set off to on a long bike
ride at age 30. Again, I can connect
with that since I am the same age. He
explains how 16 months on the road felt like a lifetime because he packed so
much in. It seems his goal is to do epic
stuff so by the time he is an old man he would have accumulated numerous
stories.
Dorais. An
touching peek inside the lives of the best backcountry skiing brothers in the
world. They are also ER doctors and
dealing with a wife with stage 4 cancer.
Denali.
A creative look at our relationships
with good friends (dog).
TED Series on
Choices. I always
struggle to make decisions and second geuss myself. This peek into how we make choices helped me
with my own.
Obama
Beau Biden Eulogy. I didn’t know who
Beau Biden was but I like him after reading/hearing this eulogy. Obama is a really good speech giver and this
one seems very thoughtful. You can watch
it if you want and have 25 minutes
here.
Pico
Iyer Commencement Speech.
Along the same lines as working on eulogy criteria rather than resume criteria. Pico calls them real and secret (inside the
mind).
Bernd Heinrich - Why We
Run Salomon Video. I love Bernd Heinrich (see
quote at top). Racing the Antelope may
be my favourite book. I read it in
college. Most of my favourite books were
read in those formative years. He doesn’t
get out much on the inner webs instead choosing to live the simple life in his
cabin in unassertive Maine. The only
other content I found about him recently was this podcast interview he did here:
Bernd
Heinrich – Mtn Meister Podcast.
PODCASTS:
There are just too many now.
I remember liking these for various reasons I cannot remember now:
RRP
73 CASEY NEISTAT. Basically, this
guy has a great outlook life. He is a filmmaker
who seems to pack a lot into life. There
are many podcasts with him but this is the first one I listened too.
Maria
Popova Q&A - Tim Ferriss Show. A
very introspective look from the creator of Brain Pickings work and life. A wealth of knowledge and book
recommendations about how to live.
Blue
Zones and How to Live to be 100- Dan Buettner. I have shifted my diet to match that of the
blue zones. 95% plant based. Dan Buettner is a journalist and has led an
awesome life. It makes me think I should
have gone into journalism. But I suck at
telling stories.
That’s a lot of content and only the stuff I remember liking
the past 12 months or so. And the amazing
thing is it is all free. Again, maybe I am
wasting too much time consuming?
BOOKS:
Here is a list of some good books I read. Honestly, if I finished a book, it was
good. There is something to take away
from every book. Books are the best value
for money. The hardest part is actually making
the time to read them. Hopefully, I can
read more books than articles in the upcoming year.
Quotes on My Mind
“The very desire to find shortcuts makes you eminently
unsuited for any kind of mastery. There is no possible reversal to this
process.” Robert Greene
“You would be allowed to submit an application only
after having travelled, alone and on foot, let’s say from Madrid to Kiev, a
distance of nearly two thousand miles. While walking, write about your
experiences, and then give me your notebooks. I would immediately be able to
tell who had really walked and who had not. You would learn more about
filmmaking during your journey than if you spent five years at film school.
Your experiences would be the very opposite of academic knowledge, for academia
is the death of cinema. Somebody who has been a boxer in Africa would be better
trained as a filmmaker than if he had graduated from one of the “best” film
schools in the world. All that counts is real life.” Werner Herzog, on the
entry requirement to his imaginary film school.
“If there is something I wanted to do, I would have already
done it.” Casey Neistat, when asked what was on his bucket list.
“If you don’t know what you are passionate about, surround
yourself around passionate people.” Tony
Robbins
"Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you
were to live forever." Ghandi
"In the beginner's mind there are many possibilities,
in the expert's mind there are few." Shunryu Suzuki
“Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and
precious life?” Mary Oliver
“Pursue poverty in your 20s.” Tom Scott
“The greatest challenge is not to travel abroad but to
travel within. Not to conquer unclimbed
routes on remote walls of shear stone, but to seek out seldom visited terrain
in one’s heart, mind, and soul. To push
oneself to improve when improving seems most tyring. Our inner landscapes are just as
intimidating, just as breathtaking and without a doubt, just as rewarding to
behold.” Chris Calman
“The only gap between you and your dreams are your excuses.” James Altucher
“I’ve never met a happy man who did not have some level of
risk in their past.” Robert Kurson
“The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.” Joseph
Cambell
“Most men die at 25 and are buried at 75.” Ben Franklin
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